Reggae Music and Whiny Me

This is not going to be a deep post. But everything feels good when I have new good music. A sweet, sweet classmate of mine who has been living in Jamaica sent me a GREAT new cd- Tanya Stevens: Rebelution. There aren't that many women in the reggae world, much less the dancehall world, and she holds her own seriously. And she masters styles... never underestimate the power of music to just make you feel GOOD.

Wierd weekend. Trying to get rid of my stress any way I can. Friday I set up a surprise party for Juan's girlfriend, met a boy named Cory, then went to the Quilombo and spoke a little after a showing of A Place Called Chiapas. The movie is pretty outdated and it wasn't the greatest political analysis of the situation or anything, but it made for a good talking point. I'm going to be showing movies and doing discussions in our new space at work. I'm looking forward to doing that. We're doing Life & Debt first (which you know is good because the opening sequence has Buju Banton- my twin brother- singing and the narration is based on Jamaica Kincaids 'A Small Place') after a Meetup meeting. I'm not sure what I think yet of Meetups but we shall see. In anycase I felt comfortable talking about the situation with the Zapatistas right now and that bodes well for the reading/studying I've been doing. Retaining is half the battle. Then I went back to the surprise party and it was over. So I got to help clean up. I won't call it exactly worthwhile... feeling like an out-of it kind of friend. Friend As Maid? Too harsh and too whiny, I think.

Sat. started out good, I went to a workshop that I'm helping to compile a curriculum for- it was on public speaking and the woman running it was dope as shit. She had a really nice way of getting people to do things they might not otherwise with her open and friendly way of doing things. It makes a huge difference too when you are giving a workshop to people who actually want to be there. Big problem with school, you see- not everyone chose to be there... I participated although I have NO problem with public speaking, doing it in Spanish is a whole other situation...there was a funny excercize where we had to read lines to a partner and convince them we meant them. We had to say things like "eres muy importante para mi" (you are very important to me) and "dejame cuidarte" (let me take care of you) and other such novela crap. Of course I managed to get paired up with the young, cute boy and was beet red the entire time. I'm really good at blushing.

Then I went to the opening of the film Black Gold, about fair trade coffee in Ethopia. It's nothing new, farmers getting overly screwed because of free trade. Big Sigh. I started trembling and wanted to scream when they showed footage of the WTO meeting in Cancun. They made Starbucks look like fools which made me cheer up a bit, but basically I just added it to my growing list of how fucked up it all is. Then I had agreed to sell some of our alternative economy shit. Even though it's made by zapatista women's collectives and the majority of the $ goes back to them I loathe selling anything. Not only was it boring, but I'm just not a saleswoman. I guess I don't like being the happy capitalist. "A kinder and gentler capitalism" is what my professor called fair trade. Yes, it's better'n the alternatives but someone please gimme some imagination! I'm so tired of the way it is.

Then I went out and drank beers with some girls (much needed socialization) and they listened to all my doomsaying and tripped me out with conversation about clairvoyance and teaching. I miss the kids. Today was bad yoga (when it's free you can't be picky I guess), depressing conversation about how miserable the world is (are we sensing a theme? I need a little perkiness- where did it go? out with the sun?) with a great friend- who shared a great dream she had where she had pooped in a big plastic square bin and her poo was multicolored-
- and then home to do actual work. And be re-stressed by some comments my boss made. You should not look at your email on the weekend. I'm riding some funky stress-o-coaster and I know I need to relieve it somehow. The world is too hard sometimes.

sigh